Think of that ONE THING you want most in the world. Hedonic or wholesome.

Whether it’s bedpost breaking sex, stupid amounts of money, the cure to your energy-sucking ailment—whatever it is, just admit it without judgment.

Let me ask–do you ever do this Q&A with yourself:

  1. Q: When will I get what I want? If I write down a date maybe I’ll make it happen. But I might disappoint myself again.
  2. Q: What do I need to do to get what I want? I’ll work harder than anyone else. But then I might find out I’m not talented enough.
  3. Q: Who do I need to know to get what I want? I’ll network and add value and spread kindness to lots of people. But they might not like me.

Random Stat: 12 “I”s

How has that thinking worked out? Not great, huh? So would you be willing to try out these questions instead:

  1. Q: How does this subject work? What is it made of? What does it look like to get closer to it?
  2. Q: Who are the GOATs in the space? The old legends? The current major players? Who makes it look cool?
  3. Q: Where can I read/listen to be inspired? Are there autobiographies? Is there classic literature (fiction) with fascinating characters? Which current players have published long-form content like audiobooks and podcasts?

Random Stat: 0 “I”s

Here’s the attitude shift for each of these questions:

  1. From desperate grasping to playful and curious discovery
  2. From “working hard” to being enticed through hero worship
  3. From proving yourself to others to adding value to yourself (in the form of inspiration)

At the end of the day we’re searching for something bigger than that thing we want. What we “want” is just a symptom of a deeper need–to lose ourselves in something greater than ourselves.

To utter the word “I” fewer and fewer times each day.

The great paradox is that it's a bigger victory to lose yourself in something than to victoriously acquire it. You can achieve this victory today by asking as many times per day, “How does this work?”

I write bite-sized blogs about BJJ, money, and non-woo spirituality. If this combo is in your wheelhouse subscribe to get these direct to your inbox.

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